WARNING! MORIBUND THOUGHTS!
I find myself thinking a lot about death lately. I’m preparing to fly to Oregon, flying always makes me take stock of my morality; I recently spoke at a baby’s funeral and I’ve been reading a lot of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who was writing towards his death the last five years of his life. So I guess it’s normal. I’ve also been thinking a lot about how we just take for granted that tomorrow will be here and it steals joy from today, not to mention productivity.
I plan on working through some of this with my Spritual Director soon but, in the mean time, I thought I’d comment on where it puts me. I am no more than a little nervous about the idea of crossing over to the Bright Shore than anyone who shares our faith, however, I have to asked myself, “Have I done my best in every endeavor? Am I content to die?” And the answer is no.
I’m not ready to go. Not until I’ve talked to a few people I’ve let slide by who need to hear about Jesus. Not until I have done my very best to make sure The Well is where it needs to be. Not until I have made every effort to love friends. Not until I have tried to talk it out with everyone who thinks of me as an enemy. Not until I am sure that my kids will remember how much I loved them. Not until I am sure that my wife knows that she is my best gift (after salvation), not until I am living every day in the abundant life and with an eye towards what needs to happen today. Not until I can live like I’ll die tomorrow as Rich Mullins used to sing. Then I will at least be prepared to take the journey.
Problem is, I don’t get to decide when. So I must adjust my life to be ready at all times! That means I’ll love more, speak more mercifully, take more chances, risk more misunderstandings, miss more deadlines, do more stuff early so the deadlines won’t matter, sing every song like it’s my last, make every conversation matter, be generous knowing that I might not get paid back. I know I’ll never be everywhere that I want to be, I won’t have the gas in the end for all of my worldly journeys, but………
Wouldn’t it be great to embrace this? This kind of passion, this desire to do right? The absolute sense of, “What if I don’t see you in this world again?” Then I’d be ready, well, more.
Here’s a discipline I don’t have: Living with an eye towards eternity. That would change everything.
Hey, maybe it’s because I turn forty this year.
Doodles, Scribbles, Hums and Notes 
I think I’ve said this before. But it bears repeating. It is called “redeeming the time.” It’s in that awesome book you’ve been reading in Ephesians 5. (one of my many favorite books!)
We have to keep our eyes on that which is above. The eternal is where our rewards lie and all our answerings. The eternal is where we live and it DOES NOT START WHEN WE DIE! It starts RIGHT NOW!!! We don’t end one life and start another. We continue on because we HAVE everlasting life. We do not get everlasting life later…we have it now. The NOW of faith…
You are so right in that we must live every moment keeping closely entwined with Love in all our daily life. We have to live everyday with the truth in mind that we will stand before our Lord and anything which does not glorify Him will be burnt to ashes. Then we get to talk about what’s left. Glory to God FOREVER!
sorry…I couldn’t help myself! But also, which in this case, is more applicable to what you’ve said is also Colossians 4…”Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” I still really dig Ephesians, but thought this was worth adding…Blessings!
A friend of mine once told me that it’s impossible to live like you’ll die tomorrow.
There is way to remember that every time you talk to someone or everytime you do something. That even if you could, even as you lay dying, you’ll be thinking ‘there’s just this one last thing…’
Instead, focus on just enjoying life. Don’t hold grudges, don’t worry about what others think – worry about what you (and in your case, God, think). Just be you. Do what you need to do and do the best you can and don’t worry about the rest of it.
I guess if I were to put this in your worldview (as we’re always talking about worldviews), I would say to trust God. And tell Him you’re doing that; get His help doing it. And then trust that He’s gonna make sure you do what you need to do – and that when you go, it’s on His schedule, and that you’ve done everything He needs/wants/expects of you.
I hope that made sense.