So, in the process of returning to my blog after my short bout of illness, I have learned a few things. One hopes to learn something when you are ill, but it doesn’t always seem to happen. However, the combination of events, including a renewed interest in poetry and songwriting and my myriad, oft-abandoned book projects, added to a new renaissance of artistic value in my life has brought me to some conclusions. Some I already knew, some I didn’t. Not all of them cast me in a good light, but a good blog is confessional by nature so here we go.
1. An Empty Well Produces No Water. It’s funny, I knew that already but as I tried to jump back into my blog I noticed a certain lack of inspiration. During the two weeks I was out of it, either in pain or on drugs of one kind or another, I let all my spiritual disciplines slack. I wasn’t praying enough, reading enough, meditating or challenging my mind and heart with real stimulus. The result? Empty bucket. Oh sure, I wrote my sermons and blogged a bit, but it was all on ideas I had already begun. Thank God for leading me into those things early! I am slowly returning to my real life schedule and hope that it shows soon! I can’t talk about Jesus if I haven’t talked to Him. (And for my non-believer friends: Yes, I mean it literally so I’m either crazy or not. Good luck with that!) I can’t produce beauty without ingesting it first, there is nothing new under the sun; or to steal a physics metaphor, (Creative) energy can be neither created or destroyed. I am either a channel or a charlatan.
2. Inspiration is Important, But Sweat Produces- If you think I should have already known this you are correct. But even as I write it I don’t want it to be true. I want talent and magic and inspiration to be the main things! It’s elitist and arrogant, but there ya go, I guess I am. So, time to change. I feel called to write. It’s part of a larger calling to be sure, mostly I am called to Story! The Story! I really believe there is only one story and I am called to tell it in every way I can, including writing. But I don’t take it seriously enough. I give my calling thought and heart but not nearly enough pure sweat. I work hard, but in uncontrolled, unsteady explosions. As a result I don’t accomplish everything I think I should. I have learned that half-step commitments cause me to not do what I need to. I am either all in or all out as it were. So, I’m going to blog every day (excepting Sunday) unless I am prevented. I can’t promise that it will all be good. But I need the discipline.
3. I Hate Vicodin-You probably don’t care.
4. I Love You Guys-I have no idea why you people read my blog. Some of you don’t know either. But thanks. I’m glad you are getting something.
See you tomorrow.