Freefall

There is that moment when you realize, in your suffering, that you are your own worst enemy. The feelings that grip you, the sadness resulting from long struggle, the weariness of continual grinding against the stones of every life, all seem to stem from your own inability to make wise choices. And we long for freedom, but that freedom would come at a cost too great to bear, for to be free from the suffering would also free us from joy, and to be free of making poor choices would mean freedom from life itself, which is death. That kind of freedom, which would in turn make you a slave to loneliness and the grave, is no freedom at all, it is a myth. The freedom we should long for is the freedom to leave behind our regrets and walk unfettered by the guilt of our own remembered idiocy. The freedom we should long for is the freedom to move forward with this new understanding of our limitations and weaknesses and strengths and gifts and face each new day as an open frontier; a top-down drive into the sunrise of the next opportunity to fly or to fall. But if to fall, to fall with and into grace, for in the freedom of grace, falling and flying are the same; for love and forgiveness, from God, from others and from ourselves will always bear us up before we strike the ground, like angels protecting our holy feet from bruising upon the rocks.
Then we can have confidence in our choices. Then we can truly understand wise counsel and the leadership of God. Then we can live as He intended, as free golden wisps of fleeting light illuminating the world around is in our swift passage.

Psalms 91:11-12

Philippians 3:13-14

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