I have allowed myself to be censored. I have cared too much for the opinions of man. I have not loved in action and deed as I should. I have worried too much about success and not enough about truth. Real truth. I have not joyfully defended my God when I should. I have not angrily turned over tables in temples when I should have. I have played nice. I have let politics interfere with my thinking as if any government of man can fix or has ever fixed anything. I have not stood against inequity enough. I have not stood against inequality enough. I have been lazy in my pursuit of my purpose. And I have wanted to be liked. Forgive me, Lord. And I’m sure there’s more.
If there is no objective truth or absolute moral law then human dignity, love, friendship all of these things we hold dear become social constructs, they don’t exist, except to make us feel better.
But lately, they had grown together like two trees that occupied the same place in the woods for so long that they entwined and you could no longer tell where one ended and the other began.
We are all, after all, hypocrites.Hypocrisy is just the unit of measurement between the face I show to the world and the face I know to be true that stares back at me from the mirror and haunts my sleeplessness with accusations of darkness. The distance between those faces is measured in hypocrisy.
But if to fall, to fall with and into grace, for in the freedom of grace, falling and flying are the same;
….grief is a shadow cast by the great light of love.
If God is near and loves us and desires to set us free from the oppression and tyranny of religion, commercialism, addiction, our own stupidity, a non-exhaustive list which is the rest of Jesus teaching, then His presence should affect how we live our life.
What begins with choice ends with choice. I am the problem, but as I choose ‘yes’ or ‘no’ I ultimately move forward in my spiritual life, away from my fractured beginnings and towards the Light.
We, by nature, are prone to wander. We run hard after whatever we see just beyond our reach that we are sure will make us happy, and then we are lost. We find ourselves on an unknown street fighting for our very lives and living in perpetual fear.
The lifestyle of love is the only lifestyle worth living, for as we define ourselves as lovers and we define everyone in our lives as our beloved, we find the true joy of the Divine.